A Mother's False Threats
When Winnie, an NRS front line team member, initially took Roberto's call to 1-800-RUNAWAY earlier this summer, she was concerned. Roberto was having trouble telling his story. After reassuring Roberto she was there to help, and promising him that NRS was a confidential hotline, the 15-year-old relaxed enough to start telling his story.
Roberto had just left his home after a fight with his mom. He'd walked home from summer school with a friend, and was saying his goodbyes at the door when his mother came out, enraged that Roberto brought a friend home when he was grounded.
"Did you explain to her that your friend was only walking home with you, and was leaving when your mom came outside?" asked Winnie.
"Yeah," Roberto said softly. "But she didn't really listen."
"That sounds pretty unfair," replied Winnie.
"That isn't even the worst of it," Roberto said.
After going inside, Roberto's mom started yelling at him. As was the pattern at home, she called him names and said he was stupid for having to be in summer school. She said if he'd listen to her and do what she said, he might be able to pass, but she doubted it. She said he was worthless and had ruined her life.
Roberto yelled back that is was her emotional and physical abuse that forced him to fail school.
That's when his mom punched him in the mouth.
Scared, Roberto ran for the door. His mom reminded him of what happened the last time she hit him, when he raised his hand to keep the belt from coming down, when she had the cops called, when they took him away because he'd raise his hand to her. She reminded him that as far as the police were concerned, she could hit him as much as she wanted, and they wouldn't do anything about it. In fact, she said, if they came now, she'd have him arrested.
"Are you safe now, Roberto?" Winnie asked, pulling the conversation back to the present.
"Yeah. I'm at a friend's. He's seen me be abused by her. He knows I'm not lying."
Winnie assured him that she believed him and started discussing options with him. He didn't have any other family in the area, except for a younger brother who lived with him and his mom. Roberto asked if Winnie could find a shelter, and within minutes, an intake worker from a local shelter was on the line, asking Roberto what had happened. Roberto repeated his story. She asked if he had any marks on his body.
He paused. "My mouth has stopped bleeding."
The shelter worker explained that in order to take him in, the shelter would have to file an abuse report. Roberto got nervous again, saying that he didn't want to be at home while social services investigated the case. He feared retribution at the hands of his mother for involving social services.
Winnie and the intake worker assured him that once social services got involved, he would be allowed to stay at the shelter until a decision was made. After a few minutes, Roberto's fears were allayed. He took the address to the shelter and said his friend would accompany him to the shelter. After the intake worker hung up, Winnie stayed on the line with Roberto to remind him that NRS is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in case he needed help again.
That evening, Winnie's friends asked if she'd gotten to help anyone during her shift. Winnie smiled.
"Of course I did. That's what we do everyday."
The National Runaway Switchboard has over 17,000 resources throughout the country that help youth and their families. Call 1-800-RUNAWAY or visit the website www.1800RUNAWAY.org for more information. In addition, as strong youth advocates, NRS utilizes a five-step model of crisis intervention to work with callers to develop a plan of action. Although this story is based on an actual telephone call to the National Runaway Switchboard, names have been changed to protect confidentiality.